Day 260

I’ve mentioned this in the past, but I’ll repeat that I write these blogs the following day.  So, Day 133 was actually written on Day 134 but it’s about my random thoughts and activities about this diet on Day 133.  This results in some problems.

Because these are written in the very early morning (usually around 4 AM), I’m not at my best—still tired, sleepy, and brain fatigued.  So there are many thoughts and things that I forget or omit…many things.  When I look back on some of these reports, they’re not only repetitive, but very short.  One thing about me is that I am not known as man of few words.  Many of my daily trip reports from Vegas trips were over 5 or 6 pages long, and that was every day. 

I’ve tried to wait to write them later, but that turned out not to work because I’d forget to do it (one day I remembered after my bed time and because I didn’t want the date to show up incorrect on the blog, I got up and horridly wrote it).  Also, there would be the risk of adding that day’s thoughts and activities to the day before, so bottom line: I need to do them before the new day begins.

 

What’s the point of all this?  I’m writing this just after my run on Day 259 though it won’t be posted until Day 260, which breaks my norm.  Why?  For this one moment, I want to share my thoughts before I forget them tomorrow, which is when I will finish this report. 

As usual, I wake up before the 5 AM alarm.  I’ve rarely ever been woken by my alarm but set it every night just in case.  I looked over and it was 4:10.  I considered allowing myself to sleep more…but as it my norm, I talked myself out of that and got up.  This morning was different than most.  I was unusually tired and a bit sore.  I have no idea why this is but as I went through my morning routine, I seriously considered (for just a moment) of taking the day off from my run.

This is a very dangerous thing for me.  I am such a person of routine.  Many times it only takes one break from routine to start cracks in my resolve.  Consider my complete ban on candy at the beginning of the year.  I lasted 8 months before I gave in a box of candy at the movies, and since then I have now had six over the past month.  What is wrong with me?  I know there is no great harm in the occasional bit of candy…it’s not about the calories…it’s about the lack of discipline and resolve, the things that I’m trying to prove to myself this entire year. Don’t misunderstand; I’m not trashing myself over that lapse.  There have been other misses.  I’ve missed running days during my Vegas and Laughlin trips.  I’ve missed nights swimming, and a few other little goofs that aren’t in the spirit of what I set out to do at the beginning of this year.  I’m okay with all of this.  A year is a long time.  I’m only human and a somewhat faulty one at that.   

Anyway, back to my point.  I considered taking a day off from my run.  I knew that I absolutely had to do it.  Even if I just walked the entire six miles, I know I NEEDED to make the effort for fear of the slippery slope that I’ve dealt with all of my life.  So, I did my stretching, my 20 counter push-ups, put my hat and earphones on, and headed out.  Well, it turns out I had a good run.  I didn’t walk other than the usually spots and I managed just fine.  It was much like when I know I don’t feel like making the effort to get to the gym to do my swim.  I just do it…and then after I’m finished, I’m really glad that I did. 

I cannot discount (I do forget at times) the importance of these runs.  I am convinced this is the main reason I have lost the weight I have.  The strength in my legs and muscle tone is better than I have experienced since my Air Force days.  I am in the best shape since then as well—and I’m 67 years old!  I feel damn good about that.  Okay, I’ll finish the rest of this report tomorrow morning.  I’m glad to have gotten this off my chest.  It’s time for my morning ham omelet. 

The rest of the day was supposed to have been going somewhere and doing something, but it turned out to be another day of just playing poker on the computer, watching TV, and reading this month's book.  I know I need to break this pattern.  I did get a call from Papa saying that dinner was cancelled because he's going to be on this diet of just drink before his colonoscopy.  That was good.  I did get in my full swim but I also did something crazy that I'm still dealing with and that is I bought some dollar bags of candy.  I have no clue as to why I'm going through these cravings, but I'm going to have to be VERY careful to keep the eating of the dots, and Starbucks to a bare minimum to satisfy the craving and NOT over eat them.  This is contrary to everything I've been working for this week, and now the true measure of discipline is about to be tested.

Food intake: omelet (200); chicken pieces (300) chicken fingers (500); chicken nuggets (550)